Monday, May 21, 2007

a king



What's the point in expecting people to like you?


I have been seeking that for a very long time, and now losing interest. If I know for sure that my unattractive style of speech and my choice of words does not appeal to the shallow people surrounding me, tell me why should I be shallow as they are? I find no reason.


Some have criticized my outward appearance suggesting an "attitude". Maybe I do have that problem.


تعرفون قصة جحا، حمار جحا، ابن جحا، و كلام الناس؟



People I knew online and met later in reality suggested that too; that my offline appearance says that I am a self-conceited person for giving the impression through my body language and slow contemplative replies to their questions or comments. Contrary to the opinion of most people... I seem to have had the exact opposite impression on other people. In cultural circles in Kuwait or outside where one meets with people who look for more than the outward appearance as an answer for their constant questioning of the person in front of them. I do not brag about this... but ask, why?

A friend provided me with an answer I find the best till now; the majority are shallow, the specific minority you met are not as shallow or at least... are familiar with the idea that a person is not judged by his appearance (all the time).


What I mean by specific minority is that I may have had a different impression on a small number of people that goes against the opinion of most people, however this small number could be similar in their ideas, backgrounds or any factor affecting their judgements; or they could be different.
For example, a person could have a certain impression on all people except for a small number or are all different. He would be considered by all people as an ass... however by a dissimilar minority he is a sweetheart; dissimilar = one could be a barbar, an old aunt, a child, an old eccentric teacher.. etc. A specific minority would be for example.. that all that find him a sweetheart are a certain specified group = women in their mid 30s (one wonders why though), or his/her co-workers, old people.. etc.






I had a good impression on a specific minority. A good specific minority.






However.. the majority base their judgements and how they decide to treat me and interpret my well-intentioned words as rude, violating, offending.. and so on. That's what's annoying. A judgement would then get carried away to make decisions for me; when I find myself suddenly treated always as an outsider in environments where I need to be within a group; not to be an individual.



OTHERWISE...
heck... I don't want to be your friend
I need not another shallow person.

The friends I have now are the best I could get... we discuss matters seriously; we're honest no matter how blunt it may sound.. but we are honest. Why should I be on display with shallow friends who would get hurt by the least comment I make about how they're dressed? When all I mean is when uttering (regretfully) that blunt comment is "please don't make a fool of yourself".

I'm not perfect... that's why I don't need shallow friends. Shallow people my dear not-shallow readers, believe that friendship is about being nice to your friends. I believe its about being honest. Let this person whom I care about hate me for a comment or a suggestion; but won't he eventually take my comment seriously one day and think about it?
if I was wrong... he would appreciate my honesty of speaking my mind
if I was right... he would appreciate my honesty in pointing out his flaws.

I did that many times... I was offended by some of my friends' comments. But when I slept on it... I realized... man they're right. Then I asked myself another question.. would they have said that to anyone? no...
They must be really good friends.




I putting my plays on hold... my plan now is to indulge myself in theatre and in drama as an art, a literary genre and as a performance. Read more and join professional theatre groups and take whatever I can get of acting lessons and such.
I owe it to a friend who upon reading my play honestly told me that it isn't that good.. and I should do better and suggested the above.
If you say I'm bad and stop there. You're an enemy
If you say I'm bad and tell me how not to be. You're a great friend




I was blessed with such friends.


Anyway I'm going back to short-stories and inter-genre writings. I'm getting better and on the way of having my own line and becoming just a bit.. known. I know that when some people who never met me come up to me and say.. you wrote that? whether they think its good or bad.. its just a step!



Beardism is my belief
a beard is about telling everyone one of two things
I'm free... I don't care about you
I'm too lazy to shave.



Both represent me personally and other great leaders and intellectuals. The World is in need of great beardists again.














Fat'h Ali Shah Qajar (1771 - 1834) فتح علي شاه قاجار

One of the greatest Beardist
Shahanshah of Persia
The King of Kings
A Great Patron of arts