2 6 8

As It Ought To Be

2010-06-16T14:48:00.000-07:00

As It Ought To Be
http://asitoughttobe.wordpress.com/

As It Ought To Be

Promote Your Page Too

Thank you. Good-Bye.

2009-10-06T05:06:00.000-07:00

This blog is officially closed. You may read my older posts, but unfortunately, many of the pictures will not be there.

Naked

2009-06-26T11:04:00.000-07:00

Did I ever tell you about the man who taught his asshole to talk? His whole abdomen would move up and down you dig farting out the words. It was unlike anything I ever heard.

This ass talk had sort of a gut frequency. It hit you right down there like you gotta go. You know when the old colon gives you the elbow and it feels sorta cold inside, and you know all you have to do is turn loose? Well this talking hit you right down there, a bubbly, thick stagnant sound, a sound you could smell.

This man worked for a carnival you dig, and to start with it was like a novelty ventriliquist act. Real funny, too, at first. He had a number he called “The Better ‘Ole” that was a scream, I tell you. I forget most of it but it was clever. Like, “Oh I say, are you still down there, old thing?”

“Nah I had to go relieve myself.”

After a while the ass start talking on its own. He would go in without anything prepared and his ass would ad-lib and toss the gags back at him every time.

Then it developed sort of teeth-like little raspy in-curving hooks and started eating. He thought this was cute at first and built an act around it, but the asshole would eat its way through his pants and start talking on the street, shouting out it wanted equal rights. It would get drunk, too, and have crying jags nobody loved it and it wanted to be kissed same as any other mouth. Finally it talked all the time day and night, you could hear him for blocks screaming at it to shut up, and beating it with his fist, and sticking candles up it, but nothing did any good and the asshole said to him: “It’s you who will shut up in the end. Not me. Because we dont need you around here any more. I can talk and eat and shit.”

After that he began waking up in the morning with a transparent jelly like a tadpole’s tail all over his mouth. This jelly was what the scientists call un-D.T., Undifferentiated Tissue, which can grow into any kind of flesh on the human body. He would tear it off his mouth and the pieces would stick to his hands like burning gasoline jelly and grow there, grow anywhere on him a glob of it fell. So finally his mouth sealed over, and the whole head would have have amputated spontaneous — (did you know there is a condition occurs in parts of Africa and only among Negroes where the little toe amputates spontaneously?) — except for the eyes you dig. Thats one thing the asshole couldn’t do was see. It needed the eyes. But nerve connections were blocked and infiltrated and atrophied so the brain couldn’t give orders any more. It was trapped in the skull, sealed off. For a while you could see the silent, helpless suffering of the brain behind the eyes, then finally the brain must have died, because the eyes went out, and there was no more feeling in them than a crab’s eyes on the end of a stalk.

From Naked Lunch
By William S. Burroughs

1914-1997

i 1

2007-10-18T22:31:00.000-07:00

we were walking when
he called me crazy
for taking pictures of a dead cat
what have I done?
he was kidding; but he wasn't kidding
when he moved on and left me alone in the street
taking pictures of a dead cat, he laughed at me
it was nothing.
hit by a car when it was walking by the side of the road
or maybe moved by somebody to the side of the road

I took two pictures of a dead cat
its eyes on the street
literally.

My friend majored in science in high-school
I left my school to another; far from home
for a major I loved; english

When I applied for a scholarship to the US to do my Bachelor's in Teaching English as a Second Language; I was rejected. He is going to graduate next year or the year after.. a doctor from some university in UK. with new words like "Rammat" (the kuwaiti verb of "to have a roommate")

I studied English Literature to no avail
what have I done
A lousy collection of classic cheap books, a number of CDs, and a room I share with heaps of cheap clothes, books and VHS tapes and DVDs. what have I, my friend, done?

I had a surgery once; a cosmetic one and I thought; if I were to die today

what have I done
but you know
you're a doctor you should know
one could die during any surgery
even a stupid one like this

Will my parents, siblings or relatives listen to "careful with that axe, Eugene" in that attractive pink floyd CD and remember me when they listen to the weird sounds. what have I done

Friend
I was by your side all the way
True I was not there when they bullied you in school
I am more bullied now

Are you bullying me now?
what have I done

I was down, there
you were not
I remember enemies were there once or twice or thrice

when you come to the world in a white coat again
a happy marriage
four kids, maybe five.. or maybe because you're a doctor
only two and a big car

I will be single
writing in newspapers about things no one understands
except my friends whom I digged from stories by Franz Kafka some of them are as angry as the characters in Poe's stories or maybe as passionate and nuts

I will not be married
because the woman I loved was born before me in years
I will be too afraid to have children; because maybe they will be bullied
and maybe if I raise them keeping in mind they should not be bullied; protecting them against bullies; they will become bullies; inconsiderate insensitive children of a crazy writer

maybe one day they will become the people who hit, on the side of the road, cats with their big cars
I will maybe get out of my house
to take pictures of a dead cat
its eyes on the street
literally.

tell me friend
what have I done, its not a question
what have I done. Its a statement.

I took pictures of a dead cat
when a friend called me crazy
or a friend called me crazy
when I took pictures of a dead cat

You know what? I think I am not going to be your friend anymore. The text messages I sent to you were only to arrange for one of your brothers to give me the book that you got from Iran for my father from his friend in Mashhad. I will not talk to you again; not the way I used to anyway. You know I swore at you, I made fun of you.. you made fun of me and swore at me too... that is the appearance we chose for our friendship... like little boys, brothers who fear to show their emotions to each other. I write this knowing you are not reading it.. maybe you do read blogs, but certainly you are not going to stumble upon mine.
Maybe it was the dead cat
or maybe it is the fact that everyone knew the time and date of your flight back to whatever city in the UK... except I. You know how I sounded to this guy when I asked him if you're in his Diwaniya and he told me your flight was just 5 minutes ago?

or maybe it was the dead cat.
I took pictures of a dead cat
its eyes on the street
literally

Tomorrow, or maybe the day after
I will buy a camera, I've decided, Nikon D40x, with which I will take pictures of
dead cats.

The written above is the first in a series about me
I will first talk about friends in my life
Doctor A. is the first friend I had.

the tarot

2007-10-13T02:53:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in a cafe writing this and I see a couple of meters away the largest convention of nerds. One with a large jaw and he does not try to hide it out of his unawareness of it; stating that I cannot see beyond my dreams of knowing more about computers. The second one looks good, he looks like Tobey Maguire; an unmasked spiderman, but he's far more nerdy than any of the group members, he looks like he's preaching the great principles of the old nerds that lived in the 60s and 70s. The one next to him seems to know to be in love with this great leader he keeps having little conversations with the one in front of him yet every while and then he looks to his left to see if his beloved leader is still there glowing over him with love and nerdiness. The rest I can only see their backs but it says alot about who they are. The one with the big jaw... oh God. I just noticed this; he's got one of those phone accessories... the phone holster on his belt. nerd.

I just stopped the music so to listen to their loud conversation. The above was described over a loud music that I usually play when using my laptop in crowded cafes. I listened to a few minutes and decided to listen to Luri music instead. Their conversation as I heard it the moment I came into the cafe 15 minutes ago is still revolving around computers and its accessories. The handsome nerd is still leading the conversation and amazing the little nerds into believing his teachings. My God even their jokes are far beyond being vague and too technical. One of them I can only see he's bearded wearing a dishdasha... his voice is high-pitched and like the nerd character of The Simpsons.

They have a computer in the middle put so that all of them can see its screen. I'm back to listening to music so I can't hear their conversation anymore but its still going on about computers. I'm interested in many subjects one could be the most important to me; but when in a gathering I'm sure to change from one subject to another naturally...

Some of the nerds sitting there are celebrity nerds; I know I've seen some of them in Kuwait University. God bless you boys, they all look so familiar and I'm sure they've been ridiculed and made fun of by almost everybody who saw them. They should be proud to be in the center of attention to all Kuwait University students. God bless them. Although I think the head-nerd is one who studies abroad... he seems to be outstanding in everything he knows and shocks them always with his experience.

The one next to the leader... he seems to have a great crush on the leader, but shame on him. He is trying his best to look hip. His legs are extended in a manner that states how he's carefree. His gestures and where he looks.. everything in him is screaming "I want out". It might be an unconscious thing.. but he's the furthest from the center. Its like he's trying to get out even from the position of his seat in the gathering. The closest to the door.

Finally they're out... now I can talk about other things

I'm reading "I was a Communist" a collection of articles published in 1959 by Iraqi poet Bader Shaker Al-Sayyab. The history presented from the point of view of a great poet is priceless yet I stand amazed at the hatred showed in his writings for Iranians and Iraqis of Iranian origins.

The hatred between Persians and Arabs is as old as the existence of both. I see and hear Iranians and Arab discuss their hatred for the others so openly and justify it too. I defend neither.

I haven't been posting for a good reason. The phonelines in my area were screwed up. And I'm in Cafe's every night using the good wifi connection; converting to wifi speed from dial-up means only that I'm going to be spending hours exploring youtube and downloading stuff off limewire. Thus I have been busy watching all sorts of musical performances, comedies and weird historical documentaries on youtube that I have neglected my blog all this time. Never liked embedding a video on my blog... although I'm tempted to share with you the amazing music of Luristan. But oh well... what makes me think that people would listen to these things?

Kuwaitis love hating the government and its institutions.
I have worked in both the private and government sectors. I found that the two sectors have their own justified bureaucratic ways. In the private sector I have found stupid managers and directors leading their teams to embarrassment sure yet that the employees are forgiving. Their mistakes are re-worded by Marketing.

Sometimes people themselves do not accept what is logically sound. People expect too much for so little.People come to me and say... you used to work there? in that ministry?
They tell stories of so-called bureaucracy. What's wrong with asking for 500 fils stamp? To some its bureaucratic. Why this and why not that?

I never asked my country to give me. I want to give.
It has given me alot. What more do I need as a Kuwaiti? I pay no taxes. My health service is for free. I had a cosmetic surgery that costs 3000 to 5000 dollars in the US, for free! I only had to pay KD10 for something I don't recall what really. If you think Kuwait's education is bad? why do we see intelligent people graduating from Kuwait's public schools? Nothing can change the fact that you've got a stupid kid... so live with it. My two friends studying medicine in the UK said clearly that whatever we had in Kuwaiti public schools is taught in English here (speaking about the foundation programs in British universities). I graduated and I didn't have to apply for jobs... I got a job a month later.. I rejected it.. two weeks later I was offered another... rejected it and was offered another a month later. Even if you do wait on the Civil Service Commision to find you a job... you will be paid for waiting.

I ask you one question though
What are you giving back to Kuwait?

Liberals, Islamists and whoeverists... want to give Kuwait the rotten fruits of their ideologies rather than give it more than just mere philosophies and ideal solutions made for far nations.

If you think the government is corrupt..
why don't you change it? Have you stopped voting for the Isms in the elections? Have you stopped asking for Was6a? Have you admitted to having problems that the Kuwaitis themselves have caused? You are the corruption.

You hold orange, blue or pink flags waving slogans you know are going to be for a certain group of people only. You hold orange, blue or pink flags to paint a home that is going to collapse soon. How is a color going to change the state of the foundation of this home of ours?

I may support what some of those flags stand for, but I never held one. For I never supported an "ism" imported to a neighborhood so peaceful like mine.

Marilyn Manson
An Artist

The Golden Age 35
Marilyn Manson
Photographed by: Gottfried Helnwein

Death is policeman
Death is the priest
Death is the stereo
Death is a TV

Death is the Tarot
Death is an angel and
Death is our God

killing us all

أسرى بعبده

2007-08-08T00:18:00.000-07:00

لو قال لي تِيهاً : قِف على جمر الغَضا
لوَقفت مُمتثلاً و لم أتوقفِ

أو كان من يرضى ، بخدّي ، مَوْطِئاً

لوَضَعته أرضاً و لم أستَنكِفِ

إبن الفارض
(1181 - 1235)

و الله يا محمد
في وجهك النعيم

سلّم على محمد ... في مكة الحجر
سعى إلى محمد ... يوم نادى الشجر
و انشق يا محمد ... لحسنك القمر

و لا بالمحبين مثلي

2007-07-23T12:52:00.000-07:00

unread piles of papers remain untouched

that they became part of the furniture.

One of my worst habits is that I cannot easily finish reading a book. The books I have in my little library.. however I just can't finish reading any. I mean I did finish reading some, but life is a bitch. Long ago I used to have the time but I got easily bored and couldn't commit myself to do one thing. I had almost 2 years of practically doing nothing with my life.. and now that I've got a demanding time-consuming job... I regret every little minute I wasted not reading, not writing, not keeping in touch with old friends, not having any of the fun that I desperately need now.

I guess that I am better reading encyclopedias though. I've got many encyclopedias in addition to encyclopediac books in terms of content. I read on wikipedia almost anything and everything.. I click on "random article" and start reading. I remember long time ago when I would be looking for something in my father's old books, I'd accidently stop by an interesting line and read it and the line after... and thus forgetting what I was looking for in the first place when I realize I had a different reason for being there. I could spend hours doing that.

Dictionaries too, these days dictionaries are as interesting as encyclopedia if you're a big fan. I read an old copy of the American Heritage dictionary.. probably an early 80s edition or late 70s. The dictionary of literary terms is fun to read too.. its like a pocket literary encyclopedia... in your pocket.. like a pocketbook. But slightly bigger than a pocketbook; but relatively similar in size.
In relation to other pocketbooks.
Books are rottening by my bedside.. and I can't do anything about it. However I'm doing good reading "My Name is Red" by Orhan Pamuk.

I bought a book a couple of months ago. Its supposed to be in Arabic but its printed left to right; you rarely read a coherent sentence just jumbled words with lots of terrible spelling mistakes. I do not mention grammar for it does not exist there. However... the book is meant to document the massacres the PKK have committed against innocent defenseless Turkish villagers. Its mostly pictures of burned, deformed bodies or remains of bodies.
The beauty lies in the ability to see the human behind all deformities challenging everything to be simply human. It might be sick to some; but to me its sick to admire such pictures for the idea that they have been killed this way. To me I see it as a way to look into the vulnerability of the human kind; to see how extreme evil to contrast it with beauty.

I would've loved to share some pictures but I decided it wouldn't be appropriate... I wanted to though to show you how every dead body had one human look that is just soooooo human. They all looked up.

As much as it breaks my heart to watch war documentaries; as much as I like watching them for this idea. I love observing the "human" in every aspect.

I bought a book from Dar Dawoud for 250 fils. It was an old copy of a novel by Naguib Mahfouz... So I thought it might be the first edition of this novel. I was so excited, I got back home to check.. and true. The novel was published in the 40s under a title... then published again in 1953 under a different title. Thus I do have an antique book... to an extent. I'm thinking I should sell it on eBay.. but I'm attached to it already. I never let go of my father's old book... appreciating their value. Although I could get good money out of them.
I told almost everybody I know about this great find..

Dhahi bin Wulaid (1895 - 1941) ضاحي بن وليد

قالت وصالك
لا
فلا
عندي مُحال

ما يطيعو يبيحوني أهلي

غير لا يفهم أبوي و أهلي ذا المقال

شايهمّو بقتلك و قتلي؟

يمكن

2007-07-22T00:24:00.000-07:00

I was going through my old emails
I was into e-pals.. had lots of friends from all over the world and won many great friends that for some reason are now "old" friends. Fawn, an American well-read artist and photographer who used to complain about the dull life she was living in her parents house and how unappreciated are her gifts and talents. Last I talked to her was probably a year and a half ago, she was well into a good relationship with a Cuban guy who shares lots of her interests and is himself as I understood an artist... she was finally living the Bohemian life she dreamt of..

I have always picked the ones who show intelligence. Dull conversations don't attract me; especially those which start with questions about the weather and time difference. I befriended painters, photographers, musicians, writers, and one very talented Belgian girl who spoke many languages in addition to her astonishing musical and dramatic talents (a cellist, an actress, and a vocalist for a relatively small Metal band).

I now see them occassionally online.

I found this email dated

Fri 11/28/03

Dear ***** :P

I just have one question for you :P today..at 7:43 p.m,on the wooden chair,at the junction of ma7al called CHIPIE,LEGO,& on the back of HALL MARK,
i saw a guy,sitting there,on the chair:P that wooden chair,sar7an,eyti6ammash 3ala erray7een willi radeen,all by himself

if he only paid ATTENTION to the girl looking at him,he would've seen her face to face,& in real life,a girl he knew for more than a year:P a girl he teased over & over :P

bss ma77ad gallik sar7an :P,i looked,turned my head,then LOOKED again,:P

till i see you on-line,......:P:P:P:P:P

yalla salaaaam

**** censored, not to reveal my secret identity which 80% of my readers already know.. but oh well I like the sound of it.

I get to loathe mankind everyday.

I got back to the Quran-recitation circle. We meet every Tuesday in some mosque.. I like big mosques during the quiet hours.

A shot I took in rehearsals of the band.

In other news... I saw the video of Encounters, East meets West thingie.. I don't know what to call it really.. a poetry evening, or a performance.. whatever it is.. it was good in itself. However as I just said, when I saw the video I realized how sucky my movement was. Yes my voice was clear and only 2 others had such a good voice, probably due to some theatre training. Overall it was good and I got offers to do other works related to reading poetry.. or rather "dramatically" read poetry.

يا حية يم راسين

طبي بجدرهم
سمّي لي أهل البيت
خلي بنتهم

يمكن

منعوه هله

يمكن

منعوه هله

a king

2007-05-21T12:22:00.000-07:00

What's the point in expecting people to like you?

I have been seeking that for a very long time, and now losing interest. If I know for sure that my unattractive style of speech and my choice of words does not appeal to the shallow people surrounding me, tell me why should I be shallow as they are? I find no reason.

Some have criticized my outward appearance suggesting an "attitude". Maybe I do have that problem.

تعرفون قصة جحا، حمار جحا، ابن جحا، و كلام الناس؟

People I knew online and met later in reality suggested that too; that my offline appearance says that I am a self-conceited person for giving the impression through my body language and slow contemplative replies to their questions or comments. Contrary to the opinion of most people... I seem to have had the exact opposite impression on other people. In cultural circles in Kuwait or outside where one meets with people who look for more than the outward appearance as an answer for their constant questioning of the person in front of them. I do not brag about this... but ask, why?

A friend provided me with an answer I find the best till now; the majority are shallow, the specific minority you met are not as shallow or at least... are familiar with the idea that a person is not judged by his appearance (all the time).

What I mean by specific minority is that I may have had a different impression on a small number of people that goes against the opinion of most people, however this small number could be similar in their ideas, backgrounds or any factor affecting their judgements; or they could be different.
For example, a person could have a certain impression on all people except for a small number or are all different. He would be considered by all people as an ass... however by a dissimilar minority he is a sweetheart; dissimilar = one could be a barbar, an old aunt, a child, an old eccentric teacher.. etc. A specific minority would be for example.. that all that find him a sweetheart are a certain specified group = women in their mid 30s (one wonders why though), or his/her co-workers, old people.. etc.

I had a good impression on a specific minority. A good specific minority.

However.. the majority base their judgements and how they decide to treat me and interpret my well-intentioned words as rude, violating, offending.. and so on. That's what's annoying. A judgement would then get carried away to make decisions for me; when I find myself suddenly treated always as an outsider in environments where I need to be within a group; not to be an individual.

OTHERWISE...
heck... I don't want to be your friend
I need not another shallow person.

The friends I have now are the best I could get... we discuss matters seriously; we're honest no matter how blunt it may sound.. but we are honest. Why should I be on display with shallow friends who would get hurt by the least comment I make about how they're dressed? When all I mean is when uttering (regretfully) that blunt comment is "please don't make a fool of yourself".

I'm not perfect... that's why I don't need shallow friends. Shallow people my dear not-shallow readers, believe that friendship is about being nice to your friends. I believe its about being honest. Let this person whom I care about hate me for a comment or a suggestion; but won't he eventually take my comment seriously one day and think about it?
if I was wrong... he would appreciate my honesty of speaking my mind
if I was right... he would appreciate my honesty in pointing out his flaws.

I did that many times... I was offended by some of my friends' comments. But when I slept on it... I realized... man they're right. Then I asked myself another question.. would they have said that to anyone? no...
They must be really good friends.

I putting my plays on hold... my plan now is to indulge myself in theatre and in drama as an art, a literary genre and as a performance. Read more and join professional theatre groups and take whatever I can get of acting lessons and such.
I owe it to a friend who upon reading my play honestly told me that it isn't that good.. and I should do better and suggested the above.
If you say I'm bad and stop there. You're an enemy
If you say I'm bad and tell me how not to be. You're a great friend

I was blessed with such friends.

Anyway I'm going back to short-stories and inter-genre writings. I'm getting better and on the way of having my own line and becoming just a bit.. known. I know that when some people who never met me come up to me and say.. you wrote that? whether they think its good or bad.. its just a step!

Beardism is my belief
a beard is about telling everyone one of two things
I'm free... I don't care about you
I'm too lazy to shave.

Both represent me personally and other great leaders and intellectuals. The World is in need of great beardists again.

Fat'h Ali Shah Qajar (1771 - 1834) فتح علي شاه قاجار

One of the greatest Beardist
Shahanshah of Persia
The King of Kings
A Great Patron of arts

another blue morning - wish it stops

2007-04-20T23:39:00.000-07:00

It came to me, I haven't posted in a very long time.

I'll tell you exactly what happened.

The day after my last post... on Valentine's day I had a job interview. The week after I was offered a job. The days between my getting the offer and resigning were a complete drama in which I played the role of a character going through extreme slow changes within hours. I did good at my previous sucky job; I tried my best not to expose myself and tell anyone that I was about to resign.

The day came when I wrote my resignation
I was happy

A regular reader of Kuwaiti blogs might notice that many of our fellow bloggers are undergraduate students abroad. It is then very possible that many of you bloggers may have met me as I am on your way inside Kuwait after you've graduated from the US or UK. I'll probably in the near future talk more about my previous job with names named.

I'm back
So much happened.

Happiness is the feeling you get when you resign from a bad job to a better job... in the promise of an even better job

in a few words

2007-02-13T14:41:00.000-08:00

You're Totally Sarcastic

You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny.

Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it.

And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad.

How Sarcastic Are You?

ذو الثفات

2007-02-04T21:33:00.000-08:00

أبالقتل تهددني يا بن زياد ؟
أما علمت أن القتل لنا عادة ؟
و كرامتنا الشهادة ؟

الإمام علي بن الحسين زين العابدين عليه السلام

اللهوف على قتلى الطفوف
لإبن طاووس

a day my father died

2007-01-29T11:10:00.000-08:00

فوقف يستريح ساعة وقد ضعف عن القتال
فبينما هو واقف اذ أتاه حجر، فوقع على جبهته
فأخذ الثوب ليمسح الدم عن جبهته
فأتاه سهم مسموم له ثلاث شعب، فوقع على قلبه
فقال عليه السلام

بسم الله وبالله وعلى ملة رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله

ثم رماه سنان أيضاً بسهم ، فوقع السهم في نحره
فسقط عليه السلام
وجلس قاعداً ، فنزع السهم من نحره
وقرن كفيه جميعاً
وكلما امتلأتا من دمائه
خضب بها رأسه ولحيته وهو يقول

هكذا ألقى الله
مخضباً بدمي
مغصوباً على حقي

إسحاق بن حوبة
أخنس بن مرثد
حكيم بن طفيل السبيعي
عمر بن صبيح الصيداوي
رجاء بن منقذ العبدي
سالم بن خيثمة الجعفي
صالح بن وهب الجعفي
واحظ بن غانم
هاني بن ثبيت الحضرمي
و أسيد بن مالك

لعنهم الله
فداسوا الحسين عليه السلام بحوافر خيلهم حتى رضوا ظهره وصدره

من كتاب
الملهوف على قتلى الطفوف
لإبن طاووس

1 - 10 - 61 AH

العاشر من المحرم سنة 61 للهجرة

يوم قتل أبي

تقاسيم و إرتجال على الكمان و القانون

2007-01-07T06:28:00.000-08:00

Only yesterday I was able to write again. I took it upon myself to complete this work and produce it. Then, only then, I could say that I started. Now; where am I to find the right director?
An actor/friend introduced me once to a well-known young director, and by young I mean not a big name, but on his way to make one (and he is by now I guess). Seeing him, holding his fat hand in mine as a gesture of greeting, I knew there was a hindering feeling to not trust or at least welcome this man into my future-making. Minutes later, smoking and chatting, I sprang upon my recognition of this man. I inquired then, "isn't he the one who directed that so-and-so play?".
A man who could not decently accept criticism nor decided (upon not accepting it) to stay idle, is not a man I will be working with. He, in desperation, attacked everyone with a face reddened by anger. This man sees only his vision... I am a writer, I produce this work too as much as he does for it is in my hand the essence of the work though not the most important part of the work when completed.

Completed.. not finished.
Why would a writer "finish" writing? rather than complete?
I believe in completing a work rather than finishing it.
If I finish my works, then I would have published at least three books containing no less than 40 works of plays, short stories, poems, inter-genre texts and a novella. But I choose to complete my works.. thus I have less than 5 works which I can actually show to people and say that's my work and I'm proud of it.

أفكر بالسفر إلى أماكن لم يزرها عامة الناس و الباحثون عن تغيير الجو الرخيص - أبحث عن أماكن يائسة لا تحمل تاريخاً عظيماً , بعيدة لا يعرفها السياح الخليجييون , و لم يخطر على بالهم زيارتها . جزر الفولكلاند مثلاً , الجميل فيها الطبيعة كما هي بلا مساس و المكان المختلف تماماً عن العالم المتأثر بمظاهر العولمة , مكان بدون مكدونالدز أو برغر كنج أو مجمعات تسوق في أروقتها الماركات الايطالية و الفرنسية و الصومالية ... أبحث عن مكان هادئ بعيد عن المدنية الزائفة - مدنية العولمة

The Falkland Islands
I love quiet places...
I love an endless peaceful horizon not disturbed with mountains.

رحلاتي القادمة لأوروبا ستكون مخططة مسبقاً لكي لا تشتمل إلا على ما نسبته ثلاثين بالمئة من التسوق و الباقي مخصص للمتاحف و الآخر لزيارة المحافل الثقافية , أهمها العروض المسرحية و الموسيقية , و حتى التسوق - سيكون معظمه لشراء ما يندر وجوده أو عُدم وجوده في الكويت من أفلام نخبوية و موسيقى نادرة و كتب ندر قرائها و حتى متصفحوها

و أما رحلاتي الروحانية فتخطيطها في الأعوام السابقة كان طيباً , فكانت كما خططت لها , إجازة روحية لتعبئة النفس قبل العودة لزحمة الحياة المدنية بما فيها من مادة و عنصر و تفاهة

تباً للعولمة ... قتلت السياحة

كما تعودت نفسي على الروتين الحكومي .. يبدو أن ذائقتي الموسيقية تعودت أيضاً على الروتين ... منذ أسبوع و أنا لم اخرج شريط صالح عبدالحي من مسجل السيارة , و أسوأ ما في الأمر الإستماع إلى دور "ضّيعت مستقبل حياتي" في الصباح الباكر في طريقي لمقر عملي الحكومي المبارك - و شدة طربي و عربدتي كادت أن تودي بحياتي عند استماعي لعزف الفرقة المصاحبة للسماعي المحير

سماعي محير
من تأليف جميل بك الطنبوري
عزف جميل بشير و سعود الراشد

an illiterate grandfather

2006-11-28T19:32:00.001-08:00

To B.

ما أغفر أنا خطاك , حبك بالضمير انزاح
و الـسـبب جـرحٍ بقلـبي ما بـرى و انـزاح
أنسيـتني لـيش ؟ و نسيت اللـعب و مـزاح

قـلبك عـليَّ قـسـى شعملـت أنا مـن بـُد؟
مـا بــيـن الاحــبـاب تـحــچـي عـلـيَّ بــُد
و الضرس لي من رگل من شلعته لا بُد

و انظر إلى الغيم لي هب الشمال ... انزاح

I attended what I presumed to be an evening of storytelling. The author, though a teacher of Arabic literature in KU, is a terrible writer. She dragged all of her classes to the Writers' Union in 3dailiyya. She gave three of her students some time to read their Very Short Stories. The three girls wrote much better than her. In fact, they were very good to start writing professionally. Unlike her, with a style of a wannabe innovative writer.

The evening started with a live performance by bin 7sain band... which is a Kuwaiti maritime and folk songs band. It was pathetic in one sense... no one appreciated the art presented. She [the doctor] had a very idealist general view of these arts. What is the significance of each type? What do these lyrics mean? Why do they do this or that? no idea. Ignorance on this matter is not wrong; what is wrong is to relate yourself and being to it strongly yet know nothing of it. It is wrong to write short stories set in such a time with the use of images from this art yet knowing nothing but that it is "fan b7ri" what a 5 year-old would categorize it as. This general view is insulting really... as horrible as the orientalist look by the west to our culture. This very general look does not recognize people as people or arts as arts but project them as exotic objects that are looked upon with admiration not for their humanity but for their ultra-magnificent representation by the propagandist media. She is no different than a stupid American categorizing Moroccans, Indians and Iranians as "Arabs", killing a Sikh for wearing a turban for he is a "Muzlim". To them.. the Middle east extends from Morocco to India to include all dark-skinned peoples whether Arab or not.

Take a look at your own history and heritage, not as a glorified heritage of stereotypes and bedtime stories of heroes from the past. But rather as a true account of yourself and your history of who you are and how you can be better. The problem with people alike the abovementioned is that they only see the collective image of their heritage. A close observation would reveal the human side of this heritage... the fallible humans who created a history of which you are proud of... question your pride.. do you have the right to be proud? What are you proud of? I ask again.. what are you proud of?

What are you proud of?
The people who built the wall?

A different account says "I was a ten year old.. they dragged us all (porters in the market) to build the wall".

I'm a fan of Kuwaiti maritime and folk songs... I love it for it portrays the deepest of the human... the typical antihero.

To those who saw "Frontiers of Dreams and Fears" ... what did you like/dislike, love/hate about it?

يا بو عبيدان يا وسفي ... بطيحتكم خدر چتفي
أظن أجيك مع لحفي ... هلي لمك يشيلوني

يا بو عبيدان عزوني ... مدام الحظ ملعون
ألف لعنة على طبعي ... ما أعاتب بالشره ربعي
أظل أفجر و أعض صبعي ... و هـم بقفـا يعضوني

فهد بورسلي

books

2006-11-24T03:59:00.000-08:00

It took me 2 hours to explore only 1/3 of hall 5. I enjoy drinking coffee (smoking is taken for granted) and discussing issues plaguing the literary and cultural life in Kuwait and the world with friends of interests that interest me personally! People that you enjoy listening to them talking about themselves, poets, novelists, writers in general.. lets see
I came back home and realized when my father started to look through the books I bought that 75% of the books I bought (and will buy later) are about theatre.

يوم الخميس

المسرح
العدد الثاني و الثالث و الرابع

الحولية بصراحة تحتوي مقالات و مسرحيات و تقارير يندر الحصول عليها و فيها بحوث متميزة عميقة و تخصصية , تصدر عن دائرة الثقافة و الاعلام في الشارقة

إعداد الممثل أم إعداد المتفرج ؟
د . مشهور مصطفى

المسرح مستقبل العربية
عصام محفوظ

لغة العرض المسرحي
د . نديم معلا

التقنية في المسرح
اللغات المسرحية غير الكلامية
د . حمادة ابراهيم

أصل الفروق بين الجنسين
أورزولا شوي
ترجمة : بو علي ياسين

تاريخ الكويت
الشيخ عبدالعزيز الرشيد

أثر الاستشراق في الفكر العربي المعاصر
عند إدوارد سعيد , حسن حنفي , عبدالله العروي
د. نديم نجدي

يوم الجمعة

جماليات البروفة
جواد الأسدي

تقنيات تكوين الممثل المسرحي
د. ابراهيم غلوم
قاسم محمد
د. عوني كرومي

نشأة الكويت
ب . ج . سلوت

and more to come.. I saw a lot of books on theatre that I need to buy!

I read لغة العرض المسرحي as soon as I bought it. It's not a bulky book.. in fact more like a short research paper. It mostly talked about what I've taken for granted my very small semi-exprience in theatre. However its very interesting to put your finger on things you've never worded right before. To be conscious to what you know and how to further develop it through theorization.

amnesia

2006-11-19T11:58:00.000-08:00

جريدة الوطن
الثلاثاء 14 / 11/ 2006
محليات

هددوا باللجوء للقضاء إذا خصصت حسينية للطائفة في الضاحية

أهالي حطين: 3 فلل في منطقتنا مؤجرة كدور عبادة للبهرة

وحول رفضهم تخصيص حسينية للبهرة في منطقتهم أورد الاهالي عددا من الاسباب منها ان منطقتنا نموذجية وجميع سكانها من الاسر الكويتية ولها خصوصياتها الاجتماعية وان القوانين المعمول بها في البلاد لا تسمح في ذلك سواء كان للسكن او لدور العبادة ما لم يوافق اصحاب العلاقة وهم الجيران وان وجود حسينية «للبهرة» او سكن هؤلاء البهرة قد يؤدي في المستقبل الى تغيير استعمالات المنطقة وتحويلها من منطقة سكنية الى غرض اخر او استعمال اخر و بالتالي لا نرى مسوغا لذلك حيث، قد يؤدي وجود هذه الحسينية الي مشاكل مرورية واجتماعية وخلاف ذلك كما ان اغلب سكان المنطقة ان لم نقل جميعهم لا يرغبون بوجود حسينية للبهرة او

سكان من غير الكويتيين بينهم

What I admire about Kuwaitis
is their hospitable nature...
how could we be accused of Xenophobia?

I was shocked to hear so...

Tell me about this
How would they react if the government of a Western nation decided upon the request of the residents of a certain area/neighborhood or even a building, not to welcome any Middle-easterns.. especially Kuwaitis?

The blue passport that I hold, blinds me
I no longer see where I stand
I, Amnesiac, am excused not to recall that, I as a Kuwaiti, descened from a nation from heaven; a people chosen by God, not different but rather superior to base human beings. We're a nation of Demigods... indeed we are.

damn you amnesia.

إستدراكاً

2006-11-14T19:17:00.000-08:00

إستدراكاً لم قيل في
سور و أنقاض سور

فالفئة التي أردت هي الفئة التي جيء بها إلى الكويت و جنستهم الحكومة لأهداف سياسية قذرة , و لا اعني بها تعميماً على كل أهل البادية و أبناء القبائل , فعرفنا منهم الكثيرين من أهل الخير و الإصلاح و أصحاب مبادئ

و حتى تلك الفئة فالآن هم أبناء الكويت و أجيال جديدة قد أتت لا تعرف ما جرى قبل ثلاثين سنة

الهدف من كشف التاريخ و كتابته ليس تهجير الجماعات أو محاربتهم
بل النظر إلى المستقبل و الحاضر بنظرة واعية لما جرى في السابق , فنعرف أصل الفساد و معرفة أصله تؤهلنا لمحاربته مستقبلاً , فهي دعوة لمحاربة القبلية التي أستغلت هكذا استغلال لعرقلة مسيرة الديموقراطية في البلاد
الهدف هو كشف التاريخ كما هو فلا يأتي من يشكك في وطنية و أصل جماعة دون أخرى و مدى "كويتيتهم" عن الباقين , فمنهم من أتهم الشيعة بالولاء لإيران , و لا ننكر أن ذلك كان , و لكنه لم يكن إلا حالة من حالات الإنتماء الحزبي بغض النظر عن موقعه الجغرافي , أسواء كان لإيران , الاتحاد السوفيتي أو المشايخ الوهابية في نجد و الحجاز

films

2006-11-12T16:05:00.000-08:00

نادي الكويت للسينما

Kuwait CineClub

برنامج ديوانية الأفلام

Film Diwaniyya Program

**********

19th of November

الجنة الآن
للمخرج : هاني أبو السعد
فلسطين

about the film

Paradise Now
Directed by: Hani Abu-Asaad
Palestine

**********

26th of November

علي زاوا
للمخرج : نبيل عيوش
المغرب

about the film

Ali Zawa
Directed by: Nabeel Ayoush
Morocco

**********

3rd of December

خمن من القادم للعشاء
للمخرج : ستانلي كريمر
أمريكا

about the film

on wikipedia

Guess Who's Coming for Dinner
Directed by: Stanley Kramer
U.S.A

**********

10th of December

البطل
للمخرج : زانج يمو
الصين

official site of the movie

Hero
Directed by: Zhang Yimou
China

**********

17th of December

في الخامسة بعد الظهر
للمخرجة : سميرة مخملباف
إيران

about the film

At Five in the Afternoon
Directed by: Samira Makhmalbaf
Iran

**********

24th of December

عطر الحب
للمخرج : لي جيونج
كوريا الجنوبية

about the film

Scent of Love
Directed by: Lee Jeong
South Korea

***********

So basically its every Sunday
Screening starts at 7:00pm
In Al-Qibliyya School

Click here for a Google Earth map

The map tells you where you should be, and where to find the school. If you know where you are, I don't think you need directions. But I would suggest going on the Gulf Street, having Kuwait National Museum on your right (5) then taking a right to enter Al-Maari street to take you directly to the school. Al-Maari street is right after the construction site of the Kuwait National Library.

Anyway.. you guys missed a great film today and a buffet from heaven.. well actually from Safir hotel, but its heavenly. I don't know which I enjoyed best, the film or the buffet. The is Das Wunder von Bern, Miracle in Bern. Look it up on the net, its a great film...

سور و أنقاض سور

2006-11-11T14:03:00.000-08:00

الأحزاب الإسلامية في الكويت
د . سامي ناصر الخالدي
الطبعة الأولى
دار النبأ للنشر و التوزيع

***

من الصفحة 28 - 29
....
و رغم الصلاحيات المحدودة التي أعطيت للمشاركة الشعبية و سحب صلاحيات كثيرة تتعارض و المادة السادسة من الدستور التي تجعل من الشعب مصدراً للسلطات , كتدخل الحاكم مباشرة في السلطة التنفيذية عبر تعيينه لرئيس الوزراء و جعل السلطة القضائية جهازاً تابعاً - و لو بصورة غير مباشرة - لإحدى وزارات السلطة التنفيذية هي وزارة العدل , إلا أن بعضاً من أفراد السلطة الحاكمة كان له موقف سلبي من أصل إشراك الشعب في الحكم . و قد تعزز الأمر في عام 1964 عندما اعترض نواب المعارضة في المجلس على جمع الوزراء - ومعظمهم من الأسرة الحاكمة - بين التجارة و العمل الحكومي ما يتناقض و المادة 131 من الدستور , و ايضاً محاولة النواب كسر احتكار الأسرة الحاكمة في السيطرة على وزارات السيادة منذ تشكيل الحكومة الأولى عام 1961 ,الا أن المحاولات جميعها اصطدمت برفض الشيخ عبدالله السالم و رئيس مجلس الوزراء صباح السالم . كل ذلك جعل التذمر و عدم الارتياح من استمرار التجربة النيابية يتزايد في اوساط بعض افراد الأسرة الحاكمة

لذلك ما أن أجمل المجلس الأول مدته القانونية في 3/1/1967 حتى تبين من أحاديث الناس و التقارير التي نشرت في الصحف في ذلك الحين , أن الحكومة تنوي التدخل في انتخابات مجلس الأمة الثاني التي اجريت في 25/1/1967 . و قد تدخلت الحكومة فعلاً, و بشكل علني غير متقن لتضمن نتيجة الانتخابات لمصلحتها

و في 27/1/1967 وقع 38 مرشحاً - ضمنهم ستة نجحوا في الانتخابات المزورة- بياناً يشجبون فيه تلاعب الحكومة في نتيجة الانتخابات . و قد واكب هذا التلاعب عملية تجنيس واسعة لقبائل البادية مقابل إعلان الولاء للأسرة الحاكمة , و ذلك بهدف تغيير التركيبة السكانية في البلاد حتى بلغ عدد الذين حصلوا على الجنسية في عشر سنوات بين 1965 - 1974 اكثر من 55 ألف شخص , ليصل عددهم عام 1982 الى 137 الف شخص

***

من الصفحة 92

...
و رغم ذلك فقد تقلصت نسبة الشيعة الكويتيين إلى 35% و ذلك لعدة أسباب أهمها منح السلطة السياسية الجنسية الكويتية لعدد كبير من قبائل البدو السنة في الستينات و أوائل السبعينات و توطينهم لأسباب سياسية قاضية بترجيح كفة توازنات القوى السياسية لصالح السلطة الحاكمة

الكاتب ارفق في الحاشية مصدر معلوماته عن قضية التجنيس , لقاء من أحمد الخطيب 29/4/1997

***

و نتكلم عن الفساد
فنتكلم عن فئة في المجتمع ولاؤها ليس للكويت
ليس لآل الصباح
و ليس لأي حزب , سواء أكان للحزب وجود في الكويت أم لا

نتكلم عن فئة قبلية قذرة
نتكلم عن فئة ما إن رأينا الفساد في البلاد حتى ارجعناه لهم , فهم أصل الفساد , النبت الخبيث الذي استوطن الكويت التي نعرفها

و المثل يقول ... كلنا عيال قرية , و كلٍ يعرف أخيه

من هم ؟ أنا أعرف أهلي و إخواني , و يعرفونني و أهلي و إخواني

فلان من شرق ...فلان من القبلة .. فلان من المرقاب , فلان فيلجاوي .. فلان من الجهره .. فلان قروي , من الفنطاس

من هم ؟ هل تعرفونهم ؟

نبت خبيث لا أصل لهم في الكويت

نبت خبيث لم نر منهم سوى الفساد و الدمار للكويت و شعبها

***حذف
لا أعمم ... فمنهم ربما من عشق الكويت , فأصبح كويتياً

الكويتي ولاؤه للكويت

هل لهم ولاء للكويت ؟

هل لهم ولاء للكويت و لو بشكل غير مباشر؟

ربما سأل سائل .. هل الحزبيين أياً كانوا , يكنون الولاء للكويت؟

أقول نعم

فالحزبي , يسعى من خلال الأيدلوجية التي يؤمن بها إلى تطوير بلاده , و كان للحزبيين في الكويت الكثير من المواقف المشرفة في الدفاع عن الكويت و أرضها , و كان للبعض مواقف غير مشرفة , فهي ناتجة عن صراع الخيارات , الكويت أولاً أم الحزب؟ و لو نظر أحدهم لعمق القضية لرأى أن في الأصل , الحزب يسعى لهدف نبيل , و هذا الهدف بغض النظر عن انتماءه الجغرافي , فهو هدف إنساني يسعى للتطوير في أصل فلسفته

فعليه , الحزبية تخدم الشعب فتخدم الأرض
فالعمل الحزبي بحاجة إلى توطين , توطين أهدافه و ممارساته , و العمل على تكويت هذا الحزب بشكل كامل بحيث تخدم أهدافه الأولية الشعب الكويتي بما لا يتعارض و المجتمع المدني الكويتي

و لكن ما هي أهداف القبلية ؟

فلو سأل سائل , ما هي أهداف الطائفية ؟
برأيي
الطائفية شكل متخلف عن العمل الحزبي

فهي مجموعة على أساس فكري لا عرقي و لا جغرافي , ولكن الاساس الفكري التي تستند إليه عام جداً و بحاجة إلى تخصيص في باب الممارسة السياسية , فلذلك نرى التوجهات الدينية الشيعية في الكويت تطورت من طائفية بسيطة ساذجة تناسب بساطة أهل الكويت قبل تشكل الوعي السياسي , تطورت من الانتماءات المرجعية البسيطة إلى أشكال حزبية دينية واضحة المعالم , لكلٍ مرجعيته الدينية و السياسية , عادةً تكون على اتفاق , و منهم من لا تتفق مرجعيته السياسية مع مرجعيته الدينية , فيكون من أتباع السيد السيستاني دينياً و سياسياً من أتباع السيد الخامنائي و خط الثورة الإسلامية في إيران و النماذج على ذلك من العمل السياسي الديني كثيرة , عن كيفية تطور الطائفية إلى حزبية
فنرى أن الطائفية قد انحسرت كمنافس على السياسية , و أصبحت كلمة "طائفية" كلمة وصفية للتفرقة على أساس الانتماء الديني

ما هي أهداف القبلية ؟

هل لهم أهداف , هؤلاء؟
ما الذي جلبوا للكويت و أهلها ؟
حذف***

وطني الكويت
أ سلمت للمجد ؟

حذفت مقاطع لعدم موضوعيتها و كتابتها في جو مشحون بالغضب أعمى النظرة الموضوعية و الحيادية

green

2006-11-09T11:34:00.000-08:00

general anesthesia

bliss

Sacred Nicotine

2006-10-31T11:23:00.000-08:00

I wrote this early Saturday at work... I hate Saturdays.

What is it that is so appealing about a cigarette for a depressed man?
I guess it is that he sees in the burning, the slow burning of the paper cylinder engulfing the aromatic shredded tobacco, a living picture of himself being burnt slowly by the never-ending trials and miseries of life. If cigarettes were known to Hamlet, I believe he would have been smoking throughout his speech eventually deciding "to sleep" rather than "take arms against a sea of troubles", for he will see better through the burning and the falling ashes of the cigarette that "by opposing them" he will never "end them".

Have we ourselves lit this cigarette? Yes, I believe is the answer. Only cowards believe not. But are not we all cowards for lighting that cigarette? Then I believe that some of us are braver than the others; a coward still, yet relatively more courageous than a coward who decided that it is not worth confronting oneself with the truth about who lit the cigarette... the truth about themselves. Cowards and in that they are dead till a Jesus raises them from the dead. A Jesus they find in the streets of their miserable everyday life; a fight, a joke or a picture of the sun falling in the sea. Shall we then build a church in us and pray for a Jesus who died for everyone else but us? A new Jesus, not crucified but bedridden, dying of cancer.

Is it the stimulant in these holy leaves that makes us extra conscious of our lives' wrinkled face? why is it then addictive? Why then, If it brings to our senses the unbearable excruciating pains of (waiting for) life (to end), do we smoke them still?
Is it confrontational? If it is then I take back what I said about smokers being cowards. Could it be that we are courageous in that new meaning we found for courage?
Courageous then are the antiheroes who flee the confrontation with the actual events of life to confront an enemy in themselves who oppresses and torments them. In that they are heroic antiheroes.

Zuhour Hussain (? - 1964) زهور حسين

خاف درد الله و عذابه
حملوني هموم حبهم
ما چنت أدري الخلايق

من صخر
صاير قلبهم

yalda

2006-10-26T16:28:00.000-07:00

يلدا (من أصلٍ سرياني)

الميلاد

happy birthday Narcissus
happy birthday antihero

(1984 - 2006)

طريق فيصل بن عبدالعزيز

2006-10-23T05:23:00.000-07:00

Smoking starts as a mistake. I remember how I started smoking. Two mistakes not just one!

When I started smoking I must've been at least 14 or 15 years old, a highschool freshman. I just couldn't help but think that smoking would add to an appearance of masculinity or rather machoism to be specific. However up until I was 18, I never really smoked. I was merely puffing the smoke out; I never inhaled!
Now with my first year in Kuwait University.. I made the second mistake of inhaling. I wasn't a smoker then.. I mean I never inhaled before so I wasn't addicted to it. So I became a smoker.

It starts as a mistake, but when it becomes a habit it's no longer a mistake but rather a part of your daily life that you grew accustomed to eventually. I personally need to have a cigarette in my mouth when I'm depressed, happy, tired or energetic. When I'm relaxing in a cafe reading a book, I cannot imagine the taste of coffee or tea without a good inhale from a good marlboro. When I mean I can't.. I actually mean I can't.

I remember I once turned the lights of my room off, and sat next to my window which overlooks the neon-lit street. I couldn't imagine a cigarette could have a better taste than that of a depressed man overlooking a neon-lit street.

I'm in Iranian music season now. I began accessing the Iranian Music folder in "My Music". Looking in the Windows Media Players library for the many CD's I ripped and forgot about. One CD I love is The Tree of Life, a collection of instrumentals by the best of the best masters of Iranian music. I should leave in less than an hour to run some errands then I'm heading to Salmiyya to buy some Iranian CDs. I can't hold it.. I want more music! Shahram Nazeri, Asghar Bahari and maybe Shajarian. Problem is... I HATE THE SALESMAN.. he keeps insisting that I listen to what he recommends of stupid modernized traditional music. I know why I'm here.. I'm here to buy so-and-so and that's it! I once spent a whole hour listening to music I don't like.. he was abit annoyed to find that I, after an hour of listening to almost every CD in the store, decided still to buy the one I came in to buy in the first place. But he never stops!

What do you think...
How come streets in Kuwait are named after every royalty in a neighboring country?

I'm not into pop-culture politics.. like the Orange thing going around. But if those people would change that about Kuwait.. I'm Orange!
When I can drive in streets named after people whom I respect. When I see that everyone despite their financial, social or political state are as respectful of the law as those who "ma 3nduhum '6ahar".

my decapitalized i

2006-10-19T10:03:00.000-07:00

... loves you.

تنگي مي لعل خواهم و ديواني
سد رمقي بايد و نصف ناني
و انگه من و تو نشسته در و يراني

خوشتر بود از مملكت سلطاني

Ommar Khayyam (1048 - 1131) عمر خيام

و بحسبي تحت أغصانٍ رطاب

زقُ خمر و رغيف و كتاب

و تغنينَ , فيرتد اليباب

مثلَ همّي من فراديس رغاب

Translated into Arabic by
Ibrahim Al-Mazeni (1890 - 1949) إبراهيم المازني

Here with a Loaf of Bread beneath the Bough,
A Flask of Wine, a Book of Verse--and Thou
Beside me singing in the Wilderness--
And Wilderness is Paradise enow.

Translated into English by
Edward Fitzgerald (1809 - 1883)

The Sitting Woman (Saki)
Unknown artist
15th century
Shahid Motahari School of Higher Education

of course the last line of the quatrain is not properly translated in english or arabic, though in other arabic translation it is. But I chose this one for it conveys the image better and has a calmer music than the others. The last line of the original Farsi quatrain roughly translates into "(that) is then better than the (magnificent) demense of any Sultan"

97

2006-10-14T14:30:00.000-07:00

وعن كتاب دعائم الاسلام انّ رسول الله (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) كان يطوي فراشه ويشدّ مئزره للعبادة في العشر الاواخر من شهر رمضان، وكان يوقظ أهله ليلة ثلاث وعشرين، وكان يرشّ وجوه النّيام بالماء في تلك اللّيلة وكانت فاطمة صلوات الله عليها لا تدع أهلها ينامون في تلك اللّيلة وتعالجهم بقلّة الطّعام وتتأهّب لها من النّهار، أي كانت تأمرهم بالنّوم نهاراً لئلاّ يغلب عليهم النّعاس ليلاً، وتقول: محروم من حرم خيرها

من مفاتيح الجنان

الليلة التاسعة عشر

2006-10-12T18:23:00.000-07:00

قال : إني رأيت الساعة رسول الله (صلى الله عليه وآله) في منامي وهو يقول لي: يا أبا الحسن إنك قادم إلينا عن قريب، يجيء إليك أشقاها فيخضب شيبتك من دم رأسك، وأنا والله مشتاق إليك، وإنك عندنا في العشر الأواخر من شهر رمضان، فهلمّ إلينا فما عندنا خير لك وأبقى

...

فقام الشقي ابن ملجم وأقبل مسرعاً يمشي حتى وقف بإزاء الأسطوانة التي كان الإمام يصلي عندها، فأمهله حتى صلى الركعة الأولى وسجد السجدة الأولى ورفع رأسه منها وشد عليه اللعين ابن ملجم فضرب الإمام على رأسه فشقه نصفين، فوقع يخور في دمه وهو يقول: بسم الله وبالله وعلى ملة رسول الله؛ ثم صاح الإمام

* فزت ورب الكعبة

السلام على أبي الأئمة و خليل النبوة و المخصوص بالأخوة , السلام علي يعسوب الدين و الإيمان و كلمة الرحمن , السلام على ميزان الأعمال و مُقَلـِّب الأحوال و سيف ذي الجلال و ساقي السلسبيل الزلال , السلام على صالح المؤمنين و وارث علم النبيين و الحاكم يوم الدين , السلام على شجرة التقوى و سامع السر و النجوى , السلام على حجة الله البالغة و نعمته السابغة و نقمته الدامغة , السلام على الصراط الواضح و النجم اللائح و الإمام الناصح و الزناد القادح و رحمة الله و بركاته *

من "مقتل الإمام أمير المؤمنين" للشيخ عبدالرضا معاش
من " بحار الأنوار" - الجزء 97 , للعلامة المجلسي

good advice

2006-10-09T14:03:00.000-07:00

So I prepared for the weekend. When you work all week long, you'll realize that two days at the end of the week are so valuable and irreplaceable. So, in preperation, I went on Tuesday to Sultan Center carefully selecting a fattening companion for my irreplaceable weekend nights.

I bought XXL size of everything.. and I realized that Twix, cheese dip and sour cream onion potato chips... do not go well together. But a bottle of good grape juice would take the confusing taste off.

I got myself the Egyptian version of Scarface, starring Ahmad Zaki. Very good Egyptianizing! it was very successful and almost flawless. But leave that film aside.. I'm going to talk to you about acting!

I was watching -for the second time- Dog Day Afternoon. Al Pacino and John Cazale. The performance of these two gods of theatre brought me to tears. Its not the story... its out of my appreciation of beauty and great performance that I cannot bear watch so much beauty. In the movie, you could see the fear in the eyes of John Cazale so brilliantly performed you'd think you're watching a reality show. Not excessive; just right.

John Cazale as Salvatore Naturile
Dog Day Afternoon (1975)

After I left the acting workshop I always thought I could not cope with the stress and hard work that it requires to live a character and do it. But as I was watching Dog Day Afternoon I realized I miss those days. Nothing matches the reaction you get from the audience as you astound them with words or actions or even your dress. Nothing matches the great experience of being somebody else on stage. I played Nils Krogstad in a production of act III from Ibsen's A Doll's House, I was into the character very much (at least I thought so). I did come short on the sudden acceptance of Kristine's explanation. Nevertheless I loved it, his pains were mine... I love antiheroes.. I am the history of antiheroes!

When I saw Al Pacino shouting "Attica! Attica! Attica!" I was almost brought to tears for his great performance if I may call it so. I so want to act again. I found out that in my acting I become my real self. While in real life I am acting all the time.

In the office I'm acting nice and polite when all I want to do is spit in their faces or crush their necks with my bare hands (the rude inconsiderate bastards). I act when I'm home, telling them I'm fine and that I am "a little" annoyed by work but that's it. I act around people to show them that I have great respect for whatever they do when I am surronded by wannabes. Back in KU I never told my teachers that they suck and that their PhD is worth nothing for they have stopped learning and their teaching techniques are utterly stupid (They wouldn't believe me anyway.. its hard to be a loveable teacher and yet a good one.. thought we have good examples, yet I'm critical of their methods). When I explode in someone's face to tell them about the real me... the feeling I get from that explosion matches the feeling I have on stage. Its really me.

I love Dilbert! It was so funny back then.. and now.. its even funnier!

satin

2006-09-27T14:13:00.000-07:00

أحب الأغاني القديمة لعدة أسباب

منها, خلو التسجيل من التعديل الإلكتروني على الموسيقى أو على صوت المطرب . فالصوت في التسجيلات القديمة و إن شابه ما شابه من خشخشة فهو صوت أداءٍ طبيعي جميل يسجل لحقبة مضت دون أي تلفيق و خداع , و تصل العفوية في الأداء و الطبيعية إلى أن يخطأ المطرب ببعض كلمات الأغنية فلا يعيدها بل يرتجل عليها أبياتاً أو يكمل له الرديدة

و لهذا السبب أستمع إلى الجلسات و الحفلات الخاصة , فهي عفوية طبيعية لا تسجل إلا مرة واحدة , فتستمع إلى جميل الأداء المتميز بدون تعديل و تلفيق إلكتروني

و أحد مميزات هذه الخاصية , هو أن التسجيلات الحديثة تعتمد على التركيب, فيأتي عازف الكمان ليعزف قطعته و يلحقه عازف العود و من ثم الإيقاعات .. و يتم التركيب ليأتي المطرب في النهاية لكي يسجل صوته . بينما لو جمعنا الكل في مكان واحدٍ للأداء فسوف تتكون قطعة متحدة يجمع بين العازفين و المطرب و الرديدة جو موسيقي مشترك , فيكون حينها الإرتجالات العبقرية و الأداء المتفاعل مع الموسيقى و العكس

و منها , أن ما يصل إلينا من التسجيلات القديمة يمثل نخبة النخبة كما هو الحال مع أشعار العرب القديمة . فالتسجيلات في تلك الفترة و إن كانت متوفرة إلا أنها لم تنتشر إلا لبعض المتميزين . و أما الأدعياء فقد ضاعت تسجيلاتهم و أسطواناتهم فلم يحفظها السميعة و لم تبقى للأجيال المتأخرة لكي يسمعوها . فلم يبق إذاً إلى النادر المتميز. و يجب الإستثناء إذ ضاع الكثير من المتميز و لكن ذلك لم يكن إلا لعدم تقدير قيمة الحفظ , أو لعدم إنتشار ذلك المطرب كمطرب أهل طبقة معينة غنية يحافظون على تسجيلاته و يوثقون له . فالبعض كان متميزاً و لم يصل إلى آذان أهل المغنى من الأغنياء سوى متأخراً في حياتهم فلم يحفظ لهم الكثير

يسأل - يسألون - يتسائلون

سألني الكثيرون عن إصراري -رغم تذمري الدائم - على البقاء في ذلك المكان التعيس إلى أن يأتي الفرج .سألني الكثيرون و هم يعلمون و أنا أعلم كذلك بأن تركي للمكان أمر هين و بسيط . و لكن الأمر ببساطة هو كوني علمت بأن تعاستي مرتبطة بأسباب عديدة خارجية و داخلية .. أي نفسية معنوية و أخرى مادية صرفة متعلقة بالظروف المحيطة

فأما المادية فمصيرها التغيير و أما النفسية فلن تتغير إلا بإمتحان النفس و إمتهان كرامتها المصطنعة . فأين المفر من ما يعتل نفس الإنسان من خبيث الصفات و العلل ؟

فآثرت أن أبقى , و لا أترك الميدان هارباً . فآثرت أن أبقى حتى يعربد سيفك -يا نرجسُ- بدمائي ؛ حتى تكسر مثقّف رمحك في صدرٍ أبرده الخوف و الجبن عن مواجهتك ...فإن تراني صريعاً قد مزق أوصالي جميل معروفك في , فلا تنحني لي حزناً (و ما كنت فاعلاً). تسجد لك أوصالي و دمائي - أقاتلي يا خير قاتل

يموت على يدك الجبانُ محزوز الرأس - و يبعثُ أنتَ .. و يبعثُ أنتَ

Billie Holiday
(1915 - 1959)

You've changed

That sparkle in your eyes is gone
Your smile is just a careless yawn
You're breaking my heart

You've changed

p.s. this is not a dedication.. nor it is a statement about my current mood.. I just love the song

narcissus

2006-09-15T15:14:00.000-07:00

Contemplating..

Contemplate;

[Late 16th century. From Latin contemplat- , past participle stem of contemplari “to observe carefully,” from templum “space for observing omens.”]

Contemplating marriage as a seemingly inevitable future.

What am I, married?
What is she, married?
Is there an I, married?

Where do problems and conflicts come from? Is it in the word "Couple" or the insistence on maintaining individuality?
I honestly want to maintain my individuality. Yet I need to be completed. Individuality's long hours seem to end when I realized that I am partially an individual. My individuality will only be completed when coupled with one.

I'm losing weight like crazy!
Its amazing.. I haven't stopped eating any of my favorite meals.. yet I'm losing weight. I guess its all about the amount. I mean why eat fried chicken everyday? or every other day? why not just one a week? It tastes better!
5 more kilos... then my life will change! dramatically..

What would change life?
Where does change come from?
I used to think that a change comes from the outside. Through experience I was proved wrong. I then thought that it comes from the outside as well as from the inside, that a change from the inside is dependant on the change from the outside. Again, I was proved wrong. Now I know for sure that the inside comes first and last. The outside will only reflect the inside eventually with time. If successful then people might think that change comes from without to affect the within. However if not successful in reflecting the inside; it will no longer matter for the inside will be immune against what the conscious mind used to perceive as "positive change". The conscious mind now sees beyond what the surronding society's forced beliefs about noble qualities.

I took Saturday off, and went to my Nutritionist (I guess I make him happy.. that he sees that whenever I come I've lost some good 3 to 5 kilos). Then went to the bookstore in KU... cheap discount books! amazing books! We looked very weird though.. we looked too old to be naive innocent freshmen; and too weirdly dressed to be teachers. Books so cheap! One book you'd find in Virgin, or Jarir or the family bookstore for like KD 5-6.. You can buy there for KD 2! Used books are just.. man! Now.. this book you'd normally find outside for nothing less than 15 dinars.. in KU, a brand new one would be around 7 dinars.. a used one (which isn't "abused") is 2.5 dinars!

Ah.. I should stop being cheap... I'm not a student anymore. I get paid now...

When I'm done contemplating marriage..
I think of this
Mobile? or iPod? Adobe Photoshop classes? or DSL?
They're all worth the same price..

Rasheed Al-Qundarchi (1880-1948) رشيد القندرچي

ألف و هلا بهالمقبل ... و منك يفوح العنبر

إلى النرجس في النفس

أحبكَ أبداً

welcome back Narcissus

powerful

Катюша

2006-09-09T08:01:00.000-07:00

I read something interesting on Erzulie's blog.
She, one of many hidden open-minded people around the net, spoke on the matter of discrimination in Kuwait; ethnical, sectarian and social discrimination.

I could go on and on about who created such discrimination; but I can assure you that the only party (partially) responsible, and (fully) using this to their sick plans to dominate the people of Kuwait, is the Kuwaiti government.

Kuwait will never rid itself from such precarious ideologies that create such animosity between the different social, racial or religious groups of which Kuwait is consisted. Our hope is that a generation will come that is blind to these differences; a generation that is indifferent to the demagogues.
Everyday I hear disgusting stories about how one group detests the other
Sunna vs. Shia; Arab vs. non-Arabs...
Though I am what I am, but I am before all, a Kuwaiti. It hurts to hear people talk about your brothers as "traitors". My brother is the one who once played on the beach of old Kuwait. My brother is the one who remembers playing on the stairs of 7ussainiyyat Ma3rafi in Sharg in Old Kuwait. My brothers speak with a heavy Bedoui accent! My brothers speak little Kuwaiti but fluent Farsi. My brothers are not Shi3a or Senna.. Badu or 7a'9ar.. 3ayam or 3arab; They're Kuwaitis.

God knows how sad I feel seeing my brothers arrested on charges of Terrorism.. deceived by these ideologies.
God knows how sad I feel seeing my brothers lose faith in Kuwait as their homeland.. deceived by these ideologies.
God knows how sad I feel reading a comment like " ***** are dogs period..They should be sent back to ******** .An open minded guy talking here".

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Erzulie wrote:

"I just find it perplexing that some Kuwaitis voluntarily isolate themselves from their own kin instead of collaborating and bettering their time here in America or in other foreign places for that matter as well as in Kuwait itself. Isn’t it time we shelve our differences and look beyond
one’s religion and name and more into this individual’s nature, personality, and spirit? In friendships, I do not think the saying “What’s in a name” applies; it is what is in and what makes up one’s truest heart of hearts that is most important, in my opinion anyway"

It is in people's nature to choose, sometimes unconsciously.. and it happens unconsciously.. friends of their same group. I'm speaking from a sociological point of view.. groups of people are raised according to traditions and ethics that rule their lives as they grow up. If you were in a school and you're still too young to know who's who; you'll be attracted to the one who is, in interests, behavior and appearance is similar to you. A religious Shia boy/girl would be attracted to befriend a Senni boy/girl, because they come from strict families that rule their lives in an islamic manner different than other kids in the school. Naturally when they grow up they'll realize they're different.. then comes the moment when they end their friendship based on stupid xenophobic ideas. I examined the friendships I've created with people from over 10 years; I did not know they belonged to my same group, but I realized I befriended them because we were alike on so many matters.

However.. now we live in a different time. To actually pick friends on basis of race or sect is very xenophobic; sickeningly xenophobic.

That is that..

Anyway..
I'm not a Communist, but I cannot help but admire theories of revolution against the corruption of power. One more thing about Communists.. is their amazing propaganda! Don't talk to me about Capitalist, American, Imperial propaganda! Its so stupid. No wonder Communism was popular.. a Nation that produced writers such as Pushkin, Tolestoy and Dostoyevsky are better than those stupid Imperial Europeans..

Katyusha

Apple trees and pears were in blossom
On the river hung the morning mist
Young Katyusha stepped up on the high bank,
Of the river steep bank in the mist.

On the bank Katyusha started singing
Of a proud grey eagle of the steppe,
Of the one Katyusha loved so deeply,
Of the one whose letters she has kept

Oh, you song, you bright song of a maiden
Fly you by the sun, fly like a bird
To the soldier on faraway border
From Katyusha bring a greeting word.

Let him think of simple native maiden,
Let him hear Katyusha's clear song
He will guard the land of dear homeland
And their love Katyusha will keep strong.

Apple trees and pears were in blossom
On the river hung the morning mist
Young Katyusha stepped up on the high bank,
Of the river steep bank in the mist

Red Army Choir

P.S. The picture above is edited by me... Thou Shalt not Steal!

عادل شهودي

2006-09-03T13:17:00.000-07:00

I had breakfast in Jean's Grill, the waterfront, the other day. I got to see old friends, (not really friends.. and how could they be old friends? they're either friends or not.. friends don't get outdated!), some of them got bad jobs, other got not so bad job, some (like me) got miserable jobs.. well its only me who got that.

Well... Silver Marlboro is back in the market..
Capitalist bastards... STOP TOYING WITH US!

I was asked to prepare something about Naguib Mahfouz by next Monday to be presented in the Writers Union; I don't know what to write about really.

Enjoying; Listening to Hassan Al-Malawani. I don't know much about him really, but I love these old "adwar". Its so soothing; opening with a Turkish composition, a solo on Qanun then gently surprised with a moving, tranquilizing mawwal. A moment of silence after an intense intercourse of instruments on Maqams, disturbed ecstatically then with an organized sad yet optimistic cry of instruments to open a "door".

"et tu Brute?"

I'm going to go through my mobile phone contacts and look up some old friends and make new friends out of them. I guess I cannot trust anyone these days; I'm a paranoid. Distrust is comfortable though. Blindly accepting friends and trusting them is actual blindness; I'd rather live with paranoia than be stabbed at the back.

"et tu Brute?"

Few come to my mind, that I can give 90% of my trust; that's just two people. I may consider a third. People whom I have no doubt about their maturity and understanding. Others around me I cannot trust for they always show me how unworhty of trust they are. Have you tried it before? I, upon knowing of a horrible betrayal, like Caesar, give up and fight not back.
If you give your whole world to friends; what is to be left if you're betrayed?
I regret giving other people more than50% of my trust; some in fact I foolishly gave more than 70% of trust.
And you learn more everyday oh poor antihero

Saleh Effendi Abdul-Hay (1896 - 1962) صالح أفندي عبد الحي

عصر الهوى و الجمال ... ودعـته لـيه يـا فـؤادي
قـال شفت حـبي ده مـال ... فاتني و راح للأعادي

شمت حسودي و خان عهودي
و عادل شهودي , تشهد عليه

blue series

2006-08-28T20:56:00.000-07:00

Why didn't anyone bother to tell me that we have Garlic Ketchup in Kuwait! I can't believe you people! Sometimes I wonder why people can't just say such things.. "hey.. did you know that they now sell such and such?".. I'd love to hear more about the latest in the supermarkets. You people better tell me if something cool like this hits the market! I would tell my friends about it! Although I stopped doing that after I got many responses.. the worst of them being the harsh, bitter and indifferent "So..?"

That's one..
Now why on earth would they ban Silver Marlboro! Malboro Ultralights! I know for sure that this became the most popular brand among smokers the first day it was released in Kuwaiti markets.. WHY is it banned now! I mean I can understand banning Menthol, but Ultralights are so popular! And its relatively ... (clears throat).. healthier(?)

I, currently in a mood for old Iranian songs and music, am listening to Marzieh. Inspiring lively old music. The good thing about old music is the fact that it was spontaneous and you could even hear them shout things at players or some of them not playing the notes right for a second, or even the singer might forget the lyrics.. sooooooo very spontaneous and beautiful. Its like you're there; one more thing and that's the amazing thing.. no computerized music! No computer-enhanced voices!
Nowadays, they can have the violinist on a day to play the notes... then comes the oud player.. then the drums.. then at the end.. the singer would come with the music recorded and that's it! Is it the same.. when you are there when the music is played and you listen to it.. and get all emotional and sing with the music? is it not better when the musicians are there interacting with the singer? There's no contact between the two nowadays.. that's why I hate it.. (unless it was private recordings from parties and such).
Marzieh!

I should write more
I started on a project to write a series of stories involving a very surreal and blue image; hopefully a disturbing one. Yet I could not find the time to do so. Its not really about time.. I have time to write this.. its just I never can get in the right mood to do it.

cheap

2006-08-27T11:49:00.000-07:00

I decided after re-reading what I wrote.. to delete it.
I was just so angry to make myself clear; I was motivated by emotion rather than reason. I will soon re-post it with a reasonable discussion and analysis of the situation.

Cheap books are cheap, for cheap readers to read them, cheaply. I'm cheap, I bought cheap books... cheaply

O Saki

2006-08-24T13:56:00.000-07:00

my life is on hold right now

Inspired by "The Hero with a Thousand Faces" by Joseph Campbell, I say...
It is strange to feel sorry for people who commit suicide; to escape what is too "life-like". I used to think of them as really desperate people with problems that are worse than our worst nightmares. However upon reading more about the human psyche and its powers. Those who commit suicide are not worthy of life; to escape?
Ah...
Pathetic people that deserve nothing of our sympathy. Why should they deserve our sympathy if they decided that they're too weak to face what everyone could go through? Had they decided to kill the self that has accepted to die physically... they would've been reborn to a self that would endure life as it is, a bitter one with a difficult never-ending maze of choices.

I'm losing weight.. and I'm starting to like my job.
The manager assigned me to do something that is nowhere around the area of my job "title". I thought it over.. and I said I'm doing nothing of my job title.. so why not just do this... because I know if I said no she will say "fine.." and assign me to do the job I am supposed to be doing.. which I'm not doing right now because I'm new and still getting to know the job. Meaning extra work... plus her spite. So why not do a job that is so easy instead of being an idealist and fight back...
sometimes courage is overrated. I say, be a coward and win friends on your side in such a lousy workplace.

Antique books!
Its been almost a year now since I found this Antique Bookstore! They sell really old books and other really interesting items. Like buttons from the Ottoman Egypt, antique matchboxes, old movie posters. I loved these antique official papers over two centuries old! It was official mumbo jumbo about loans and seizing land or something like that.. must've been horrible for whoever received it.. yet its just beautiful to have something 2 centuries old in your room.
There's this little dictionary of medical terms that belonged to a med student in Cairo University in 1925! The price tag read KD 75! Bah I could buy a better one in KU's bookstore for KD 2.
Old newspapers, old magazines... and man they had sexy models back then. It is disturbing though to see a picture of an actress who back then was young and sexy. Now she looks more like a creature from wall carvings of Babylon or Greece, half ugly old human, half God-forsaken mutilated animal.

Its called Dar Dawood Publishing.
Its in Almubarakiyya, Al-Souk Al-Dakhli... just walk around and you'll notice it.

اوكي ... وين محلات الصرافة في الديرة ؟
آخر الشارع ... السوق المسقف آخر الشارع هذا السوق الداخلي
يم ديوانية الرعيل الأول , دار داوود للنشر

ساغرم شكست
اي ساقي

My cup is broken
O Cupbearer

كأسي مكسورة
يا ساقي

eugene

2006-08-10T07:44:00.000-07:00

Ever thought of creating an underground group?
I think keeping secrets is a wonderful experience. I tried it and still do keep secrets (not regular secrets, more like espionage kind of secrets) that if exposed could.. mmm, could probably change people's view of me? I don't know.

فاتن حمامة و محمود ياسين
فلم حبيبتي
أفضل فلم عربي شاهدته في حياتي
صراحة الفلم أعجبني لعدة أسباب

مكان الحدث شاعري جداً
مع احترامي لمصر كبلد و شعب , و لكن مصر تفتقد العنصر الرومانسي في حياتها المدنية , حضارة القاهرة كعاصمة لا تعطي أي مجال للقصص العاطفية و الرومانسية , و أعني بذلك القاهرة الحديثة , قاهرة ما بعد الثورات القومية و الخطابات العصماء . قاهرة ما قبل جمال عبدالناصر جميلة جداً و على طراز أوروبي هادئ , بينما قاهرة اليوم مليئة بالبؤس الملتحف بالتفاؤل الكاذب لفجر قومي يكون فيه العرب سادة العالم , قاهرة اليوم مليئة بالشحاذين و المدعين و السياح الخليجيين التافهين و النصابين المصريين المتخصصين في دراسات علم الاجتماع الخليجي و البذخ الخليجي الغبي

بينما بيروت , حيث تدور أحداث فلم حبيبتي , بيروت ما قبل الحرب الأهلية
جميلة يا بيروت , الطراز الأوروبي و التعايش الجميل اللامتعصب بين أطياف مجتمع حضاري جداً

القصة تدور حول شخصية لا بطولية , بطل القرن العشرين الضعيف الشكاك ما يسمى بالـ
Antihero

محمود ياسين فنان بوهيمي لا يستطيع تسديد أجار شقته , و لكن أهم من ذلك أنه لا يملك ثمناً لعلبة أسبرين لينتحر
فاتن حمامة فتاة صعبة المنال لا تترك لمحمود ياسين سوى خيوط دقيقة ليلحق بها , و أكاذيب
قصة حب عظيمة لا تقف عند لا بطولية شخصياتها و لكن تقف على قلوبهم النابضة بالإخلاص

I'm not a fan of the Pink Floyd, its just that I like some of their songs and their philosophical lyrics.
Whisper, whisper, sounds inaudible and a mood of early angry depression.

[light screaming from Waters]

Careful, careful, careful with that axe, Eugene.

[very loud and prolonged scream]

ashes

2006-08-08T00:48:00.000-07:00

Having a job is not so bad. It IS challenging. It's a challenge to wait for six hours in a gloomy, improperly-lit and cold office (its supposed to be a shared office, however I'm the only one there.. thus its my own office). To wait for six hours hoping that no one comes in asking you to do little work. Having to endure all types of people. The worst though is waiting in great dread and hope for the day to end without having to deal with a person who'll force you to get the worst of your rotten burried self of anger, hatred and loathing for those people.

Days pass

The fifth day of the acting workshop.
The aerobics class is no longer; today was the last class unfortunately. I will miss being forced to exercise to death. I have proven myself worthy of respect being the only one of all the applicants who received a full mark for the personal interview and the entry test. Everyone was asking who's this guy? Are you the one?
It was all about using the good tips I got on how to impress interviewers; and man their methods were so traditional.

I'm going to do a short play I wrote; an adaptation from Edgar Allan Poe's The Tell-Tale Heart.

she puts the seeds in me

plant this dying tree

she's a burning string

and I'm just the ashes

Marilyn Manson

dada

2006-08-05T05:19:00.000-07:00

Cheap classics
I realized that I don't have enough of western classics so I decided to crusade the market for cheap CDs of classics. I loved Schubert's symphony no. 8, the unfinished.
Cheap classics... I found a CD for kd 2 and it included two symphonies by Schubert, and after I purchased that I found a collection of 4 CDs for kd 5 only of the best of Schubert. oh well.

This should be the third day in the acting workshop.
Even those with little knowledge of what really is theatre... prefer to degrade what theatre represents as hard as possible.
One stated clearly that he is here for "fame", "to have friends", to be "popular and loved by everyone". The easiest way to be famous is to fake your way into this field; to fake it, is just to tell jokes on stage.
No matter how many original actors, directors and playwrights are out there trying to preserve the real meaning of theatre; they are always overwhelmed by this barbaric mob out to eliminate any sense of seriousness related to theatre.

"If I shout:

Ideal, Ideal, Ideal

Knowledge, Knowledge, Knowledge,

Boomboom, Boomboom, Boomboom

I have recorded fairly accurately Progress, Law, Morals, and all the other magnificent qualities that various very intelligent people have discussed in so many books."

Tristan Tzara

Very true.
thus, dada

real

2006-07-29T06:32:00.000-07:00

I don't see any point of posting about my personal daily life everyday. But I should try it.. maybe its just fun to post things and think.. maybe someone would read them and think "yeah.. that's right". That's good enough.